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Top 10: Favorite Golf Slang

By West Valentine

NASSAU, BAHAMAS - DECEMBER 03: Tiger Woods of the United States and Jordan Spieth of the United States laugh on the practice range during round three of the Hero World Challenge at Albany, The Bahamas on December 3, 2016 in Nassau, Bahamas. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images)
NASSAU, BAHAMAS - DECEMBER 03: Tiger Woods of the United States and Jordan Spieth of the United States laugh on the practice range during round three of the Hero World Challenge at Albany, The Bahamas on December 3, 2016 in Nassau, Bahamas. (Photo by Christian Petersen/Getty Images) /
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LONDON, ENGLAND – JANUARY 05: An exhibitor holds a fossilised dinosaur egg (£450) at the Mayfair Antiques and Fine Art Fair on January 5, 2017 in London, England. Running from January 5 to Sunday 8, the fair sees over forty exhibitors with pieces ranging from 1300BC to the present day available for sale. (Photo by Leon Neal/Getty Images)
LONDON, ENGLAND – JANUARY 05: An exhibitor holds a fossilised dinosaur egg (£450) at the Mayfair Antiques and Fine Art Fair on January 5, 2017 in London, England. Running from January 5 to Sunday 8, the fair sees over forty exhibitors with pieces ranging from 1300BC to the present day available for sale. (Photo by Leon Neal/Getty Images) /

A Dinosaur Egg

We’ve all found these. You hit your ball into the deepest Gunge and as you kick and stomp through the worst of it you see the very top of a ball peeking out through the muddy surface. You know it’s probably not yours, but there’s still a glimmer of hope.

After you gouge it out with your wedge you find that, indeed, you’ve uncovered a golfing artifact. That ball has been there so long it’s yellow dappled skin looks like a reptilian egg. You brush it off to find it has Spaulding, or MacGregor, or Ram, printed on it – some brand of ball that hasn’t existed for eons.

You have just discovered a Dinosaur Egg.

“Did you find yours?”

“No, it’s just a dinosaur egg.”

The Gunge

This sounds like dirty Irish slang – and maybe it is, I don’t know. The Gunge (rhymes with ‘sponge’) is an all-purpose term for an area of the course that is somehow worse than the thickest rough.

You can be in the woods and still have a decent lie. If you are in The Gunge, your ball is stuck in something resembling a briar patch in a septic field. It’s usually wet, smelly, and full of bushes and rocks that prevent a full swing.

“Can he play that?”

“Nope, he’s in The Gunge. That ball is dead.”

Greasy

A greasy player never strikes the ball cleanly. His clubs are outdated, rusty and dirty yet his shots typically get every good bounce and roll available. It’s painfully ugly, but effective golf.

This guy will hit a forehead high screamer that runs through a trap, kicks straight up in the air, and settles six feet from the pin. You shake your head at him and say, with equal parts disgust and disbelief, “That was pretty greasy.”

Make no mistake. You want a greasy partner. His bogey net par from the sod farm will tie your opponents into a rage-filled pretzel.

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