2025 Oscars Best Picture Nominees, as told by professional golf

This will be insufferable to many of you, and to that I say "You're welcome."
96th Oscar Week Events: Live Action Short Film, Documentary Short Film, And Documentary Feature Film
96th Oscar Week Events: Live Action Short Film, Documentary Short Film, And Documentary Feature Film | Rodin Eckenroth/GettyImages
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The Substance (dir. Coralie Fargeat): Darren Clarke winning the 2011 Open Championship

For those of you that are in the know about The Substance, you'll understand why Coralie Fargeat's exploration into aging and society's ever-escalating beauty standards for women is by far the hardest movie that I had to find a comparison point for, and I'm still in shock this movie is nominated for Best Picture. This comparison is going to be fully on the awards season path of its star, Demi Moore, and how she has turned this body horror showcase into the film that will land her her first Oscar. Demi Moore has been a star for forever in Hollywood, but her films never really got her into any strong consideration for any big awards through her career until The Substance came along, and based on her win at SAG, an Oscar seems like it'll be quite a popular win.

Darren Clarke had been a mainstay between the PGA Tour and the European Tour for decades, achieving some success, with a notable win over Tiger Woods in the 2000 WGC Match Play being his most notable win in his career. The holder of a good but not great career, Clarke emerged at the 2011 Open Championship at Royal St. George's as a crowd favorite, and his win that week proved to be quite a popular win. While this sort of late career bloom into a major trophy winner is probably the only thing Darren Clarke and Demi Moore have in common, it feels like a natural link comparing these two events.