The Fake Match Play Story Unfolding Now on Golf Stats

Two golf media types, Gary VanSickle, who now writes for Morning Read and used to write for Sports Illustrated (when they still existed), and Sal Johnson, who is Chief Data Officer for Golf Stats and used to work for ABC’s golf telecasts, got together and decided that since we have no golf, they would invent some, Match Play style.

The tale begins with the cancellation of The Players and a scramble to figure out how to hold the Dell Match Play, which one of them determines could be held in Fiji. They have just finished round one, but you should start with how it all happened – fictionally speaking—and then go to the two additional events that were added, the luau pairings party and the rest.

Fiji, in this fictional account, is COVID19 virus-free when it’s decided to hold the event there. Massive planes and charters are arranged to get golfers from The Players Championship to the middle of the Pacific Ocean where Fiji is located. They have chosen Natadola Bay golf course.

An actual tournament, the Fiji International, has been held there, played as part of the Australasian Tour. Matt Kuchar won the tournament in 2015. You can look it up. (That part is true.) Natadola Bay is a Vijay Singh-designed course on what is considered the main island, Viti Lev.

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But back to the story. Because of airplane space and other logistical issues, only 32 of the top players will participate.

Well, since they are all headed to Fiji, and since the PGA Tour has canceled the regular events before and after the Dell Match Play, the PGA Tour Commissioner thought that those going to Fiji might as well play an 18-hole tournament on the Sunday before and call it the Valspar Championship. They will then hold a one-day, 18-hole tournament after the Dell Match Play and call it the Valero Texas Open.

Golf Channel has preview shows before any of this starts and gets its highest ratings ever, mainly because the programming coincides with prime time in the U.S., and no other sports are remotely able to do anything.

Tiger Woods is there, as is Brooks Koepka, Dustin Johnson, Justin Thomas, Rickie Fowler, all the usual suspects who could get to the charters in time.

Before play in the Valspar starts, one player is injured when he cuts his foot on coral. I don’t want to give it away. Then they have to reshuffle the Valspar tee time groups.

NBC decides to televise the fake Valspar tournament live, and Golf Channel is giving real-time analysis on their air. Their fake ratings are off the charts.

Meanwhile, a Fiji flight attendant, not from the charter flight, has tested positive for COVID19, and so has her mother. They are self-quarantining.

On Tuesday, there is a fake luau pairings party. Who do you think Rory McIlroy picked? How about Tiger Woods? Brooks Kopeka? Adam Scott? DJ? Jon Rahm?

Then the next day, the matches begin. No one wants to spoil it for you. They call it Our (fabricated) WGC Dell Match Play. Here’s the link to how it all started. You can check it out day-by-day, heading over to day two.

There’s even a fake bracket you can print out, and if you don’t peek at the later days, you can take a shot at picking match winners. But remember it’s all fake! So, the match survivors could surprise, just as it was a surprise when Nick O’Hern beat Tiger Woods years ago –twice — in the match plays at La Costa and again at Dove Mountain.

The third report has what happened with the first brackets, and you’ll find it here:

The fourth is here:

Now get out there and read about the fake Dell Match Play and hope real golf returns in mid-May.

If you are looking for a fake Masters story, there’s one about the “real” first Masters. It won an award recently. The take is called: The Secret Masters: A Story Too Good To Be True

Golf Tips: You Don’t Have to be a Pro to Act Like One on the Range. dark. Next

If you enjoyed reading about this, make sure to tune in next week to Pro Golf Now, as we will be doing a bit of our own golf invention. A hypothetical data-based all-time Masters Tournament.

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